


Drowned

by Snailythefan



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Gen, Light Angst, Self-Sacrifice
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-02
Updated: 2015-07-02
Packaged: 2018-04-07 08:50:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,665
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4257108
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Snailythefan/pseuds/Snailythefan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>[Lapis Lazuli centric fic]</p><p>A story about Lapis' struggle to keep her will in control of Malachite and how she finally took complete control of their fusion.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Drowned

"Let's stay on this miserable planet- _TOGETHER!_ "

She pulls their body down with all her strength, submerging them in the water. It's painful to fight against Jasper's own control over the fusion, more painful than anything she has ever felt. Getting her gem cracked is nothing compared to this.

And the screaming never stops, _her_ screaming. She can feel her rage flow through them, her desire to escape, her hatred towards her. But she doesn't give in, she keeps her focus on pulling them down with all the force of the sea, keeping Jasper powerless, turning their being into a living prison.

And that's exactly what Malachite is.

The deeper they get, the more pressure she can feel on herself. And she knows the other gem can feel it too, if the screams of rage turning into those of anguish are any indication.

Her body feels numb but she doesn't know if her body is hers anymore. What part of her is truly hers and which one is _hers_?

She is scared of losing herself in the fusion, but that only means she has to be stronger and keep her will in control. And Lapis wants to keep it that way.

She has somehow found a way to keep their body fused, but their minds separated. The ocean gem knows that if she allows Jasper to dwell into her mind, she might gain her power over the Earth's ocean, turning her efforts to stop her completely useless.

And yet, she can still feel Jasper's emotions flow into her. It's tiring to put up with all the hate and violence she can feel right into her core. The orange gem fights vigorously, desperately, but it's Lapis' job to overpower her.

Eventually, Malachite touches the bottom of the ocean. It's dark, she can barely see anything, but it doesn't matter. It's perfect for letting her focus entirely on suppressing Jasper's power.

"LET ME GO, YOU INSUFFERABLE BRAT! YOU CAN'T KEEP ME HERE FOREVER!" She hears the other yell at her. It's weird to hear someone's voice as if you're the one yelling, Lapis thinks. But it's a thing about being fused into one single being that she must get used to, she concludes. She yells at the other as well "I _WILL_ KEEP YOU HERE FOREVER, EVEN IF THAT MEANS I HAVE TO ROT HERE WITH _YOU!_ " Lapis tightens her aquatic grip on their torso, making it more painful to move for both of them. However, it succeeds in making Jasper shut up, even if she keeps struggling to move. Lapis knows that Jasper's will is strong, and that it'll take her an eternity to subdue her. But she can wait.

They have more than a few centuries to spare.

 

-

 

Lapis is grateful gems don't need to sleep, that means she can resist years and years without needing to rest. However that also keeps her fighting restlessly every day and every night. She also knows it's impossible for gems to drown since they don't need air. But that doesn't mean their days on the bottom of the ocean doesn't feel exactly like that.

Lapis wishes Malachite didn't had all those extra limbs since that just makes more difficult to constrain her, but this is a war between them, and the ocean gem is fighting for victory.

A few months have passed since their prison came to existence. Long, awfully dark and tiring months they have been. But at times when Jasper gets tired just enough for her to relax, even if for a few minutes, Lapis thinks about her motives to do this.

And Steven's smile always pops up in her mind. It's at times like this when she feels incredibly sad since she has convinced herself that she will never see the surface again. Never to see her friend again. Never to hear his voice full of amiability and comprehension.

It's at times like this when Lapis Lazuli regrets deeply not escaping together with Steven, back there on the spaceship.

And oddly enough, she also feels glad that she can keep him safe from Jasper and her destructive being. As if paying a debt she has with the boy, it feels right.

She never has that much time to dwell in the past. Jasper has incredible stamina, she has come to learn, and soon enough she finds herself focusing to constrict her struggling movements.

She has a prisoner to attend to now and she has to make sure their living prison stays like that. A _prison_.

 

-

 

One day, there's an unexpected turn of events.

Out of nowhere, Steven appears in her mind. An unforeseen reunion between them takes place but Lapis knows better than to let Steven be in danger. Since he is there with her, then _she_ could already know.

"Steven? W-What are you doing here?" she asks, confused from the unlikely situation.

"Ah, uh, I know it's weird but I’m just dreaming! So don't even worry about it" Steven says casually, not aware of the danger he could be in.

"What? No! Steven! I'm trying to concentrate!" she gasps "How are _you_ here?!" There's no way this is actually happening, Lapis reminds herself. Perhaps she has already gone mad and now she's hallucinating? She ponders the possibility for a few seconds as she shakes her head.

"Oh my gosh, are you okay?" he asks and Lapis isn't sure if she should answer to him.

"Steven, please! I-" and before she can even finish her sentence, Jasper's screams resonates in her mind. Lapis forgets completely about Steven and represses the orange gem's will, making the ocean weight completely over Malachite.

She can hear Jasper saying something along the lines of 'i hate you' and 'stop it', but Lapis knows she will never stop. Not until Jasper has been contained. Lapis decides to make their restraints stronger by also trying to subdue Jasper's mind. Surprisingly, it works, but at a high prize.

Chains now tie them together mentally as well, and in front of her the projection of her prisoner appears.

"Lapis... You DISGUSTING idiot! Let me g-" Lapis pulls the chains and Jasper submerges in (what she thinks it is) the representation of Malachite's mind. The green hues surround her as she fights, not only physically, but now mentally as well.

But Lapis knows she's strong, stronger than her, and like that the warfare between them both continues.

 

-

 

It's roughly an hour after she saw (hallucinated?) Steven that again the young gem appears inside Malachite's mind.

"Lapis?" his voice carries a worried tone, but now more than ever, Lapis can't afford Steven being there with her.

"S-Steven... Why do you keep coming back?! I can't get distracted! I've got to hold this down with the weight of your planet's ocean!" Lapis feels Jasper pulling her down, and for a moment she thinks her hold on Jasper will break. "I've... got... to keep her..."

"Wait, Lapis. Tell me where you are! Maybe we can help you!" Steven says.

Lapis' eyes open wide at the preposition. A flash of hope crosses through her mind, but she quickly gives up on that wishful thought. There's no way the crystal gems can help her without no one getting hurt, and if she was going to be the reason that Steven got hurt then... No, her fate was sealed. She pulled harder against Jasper's strength.

"I told you! No!" but at that moment, her grip on Jasper isn't powerful enough and now she's the one getting submerged in the dark waters of Malachite's mind. The obscurity frightens her, but she quickly remembers. Steven is up there, and if she's the one submerged then... Jasper was _with_ Steven!

Lapis fights more than ever to regain her control over Jasper, desperate cries coming out of her lips, knowing that his friend could be in danger. Out of instinct, her wings impulse her to the surface and she takes a deep breath. She's on her knees now and Steven comes running to her. "Lapis!"

"Can't you see..? I can't stop... Not for a second! Don't look for me... I don't want your help!" she gets mad at Steven. Why can't he see that everything she's doing now, it's for him! Why would he willingly put himself in danger to save her?

"But-"he starts but she quickly interrupts the half-gem.

"Just let me do this for you!" she says with anger in her tone.

"Lapis..." she can hear the sadness he uses to say her name, but she doesn't care at the moment.

"No!" she has to take a hard decision right there and then. But it'll be worth it, she thinks to herself, if it'll keep him safe. "I'm not Lapis anymore..."

Her wings cover herself, making Steven's body seem blurry to her now.

"WE are Malachite now..." she says with fierce determination since there's no going back on her words.

"Lapis, no!" she shouts, but it's too late. She has decided this already.

She submerges herself into the dark waters of the fusion's mind. She finds a struggling Jasper in the dark, and with a soul full of bravery, she embraces the violent homeworld gem. And somehow it feels like fusing again, there's just one body and now there's just one consciousness.

Malachite rises from the deep. She sees Steven with an afraid expression. But there's just one thing left to say now.

"GO!" she screams with all her might. Steven does disappear, leaving her alone in the bottom of the ocean again. But that is perfect, she thinks.

Malachite can live on, the sentient prison has claimed both of their minds now. There's nothing she desires but only resignation to spare. She'll stay submerged in the mysterious waters forever, as long as she exists.

She feels a deep sadness flow through all of her. And with that same tone, for some reason, she sings her lament.

" _You do it for him,_

_that is to say..._

_I do it for them..._ "

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this when i was having intense feels about Lapis.  
> Gosh, why can't she just be finally happy (sobs)  
> Also yes, that last part was totally inspired by Do it for her/him


End file.
